


Fragile Hearts

by gracefulhearts



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Flashbacks, a break-up fic, fading relationships, high school sweethearts, kind of, the hearts are fragile in this one please handle with care
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:08:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22322317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gracefulhearts/pseuds/gracefulhearts
Summary: There have been a few times where Rey has thought that they might break up, but she knows now that nothing has ever come close to this. She feels the thread that’s holding their relationship together unraveling, and she hadn’t even realized that it’s only holding on by a thread until this moment.
Relationships: Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29





	Fragile Hearts

A silver heart-shaped locket sits on the nightstand next to Rey, its silver chain tangled. The picture on the inside is torn at the edges and faded with age.

In the photo, her and her boyfriend, Ben, are graduating high school, which was almost ten years ago. He’s standing behind her with his arms looped around her neck, wearing a green graduation gown, the color of their high school. His cap is in his hand, dangling in front of her. She’s wearing the same thing, except her cap is on her head, and he’s pressing a kiss to her cheek. Rey has a wide grin on her face, her eyes crinkled at the corners with happiness and love.

Her and Ben were high school sweethearts, having got together their sophomore year, when he asked her to homecoming.

Still asleep, she rolls over on the mattress, her hand hitting the nightstand and knocking the locket to the ground. 

He had given it to her for Christmas their senior year, since they were going away to different colleges, and she’s worn it every day since. He was going to Harvard and her UCLA, which meant that they would be doing long distance for four years.

_“It’s something to remember me by,” he says, after she opens the box. They’re sitting in front of her Christmas tree, her in his lap, their faces illuminated with the golden lights hung on the tree._

_She stares at the locket in the box for a long moment, then cranes her neck to look at him. “To remember you by? Are you breaking up with me?”_

_A smile spreads across her lips as she says it; they’ve been together for two years and know that they’re not going to be breaking up any time soon, even if they’ll be on opposite coasts for school._

_He reaches down and tickles her waist, making her howl with laughter and squirm against him. “You know I’d never do that, Rey.”_

_“I know, I know, it was a joke! Please stop tickling me!” He does. He’d give her the world if she asked. “You’re my person, Ben. I don’t want to be with anyone except for you.”_

_Rey shifts so that she’s facing him, sets the box still containing the locket on the ground beside them. He looks at her adoringly, his eyes soft as his thumb traces the outline of her lips._

_“You won’t be. We’ll be together for so long that you’ll get sick of me; we’ll be old and grey with a million kids running around.”_

_“A million kids? And how do you think we’re going to manage that?”_

_Ben leans down so that his lips are at her ear. “By having lots and lots of . . . love for each other.”_

_“That’s not what I thought you were going to say,” she laughs, as his lips brush against her cheek._

_“What did you think it was going to be?” he asks, trailing kisses down her jaw, her neck._

_She shivers, squeezes his shoulder to get him to stop. She can hear Maz’s footsteps on the stairs, and while her mother is a very caring woman, she has very strict rules against PDA, even though they’re both already eighteen. “Maz is coming. I thought you were going to say something else.”_

_He pulls away, his expression serious. And then it dawns on him, and he grins at her. “Oh, right. Well, that too. Anyway, my point is, we’re going to be together for the rest of our lives, I just know it.”_

_Maz, the short, older woman who adopted Rey when she was only two and a half, appears in the living room then, her eyebrow arched. “Was that a proposal I just heard, Benjamin?”_

_The instant that she hears Maz’s voice, she moves off of Ben’s lap, settles into his side with her arm around him instead._

_He gives her mother the biggest grin. “Not yet, but definitely someday.”_

Ben would propose four years later, at her college graduation. With the way that their schedules worked, he was supposed to have a final exam on the day of her ceremony, but he had flown in to surprise her, got down on one knee later that night.

It was the easiest yes she ever said.

Now, she rolls over again, onto her other side, facing his side of the bed. Her arm falls onto his chest, or it would if he were in bed.

Rey blinks open her eyes when her hand lands on the sheets instead. It’s cold, like he hasn’t been there for a while, and she waits for the sound of the shower or the smell of bacon, but nothing comes.

_That’s unusual._

She throws the covers off, still not fully awake as she glances at the clock. It’s just after ten in the morning, and it’s Saturday, so he’s definitely not at work. Standing up, she doesn’t notice the locket on the ground next to her foot.

As she nears the living room, Rey can hear him typing away on his laptop.

“Good morning.” Her voice is raw and thick with sleep. It’s January, meaning that it’s a lot drier in their apartment than usual, and Chicago is definitely dry this time of year.

Ben’s eyes follow her as she sits down next to him on the couch. “Good morning. Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah. What are you working on?”

“Just some stuff for work.”

She can’t help the sigh that comes from her lips. “Ben, it’s Saturday, do you have to be doing work right now?”

He blinks. “What else would I be doing?”

“I don’t know! You could still be in bed right now, still asleep, or we could be having lazy morning sex. Something that isn’t you doing work.”

Rey has tried not to get too upset about this, however sometimes her emotions get the best of her. For the last month or so, all he’s been doing is work. After undergrad, he went to law school also at Harvard, has been working in corporate law ever since. He loves what he does, and she loves that about him, loves how happy his work makes him, but lately, all he’s been doing is working, or out with his coworkers.

The two of them used to have weekly date nights, but they haven’t gone out in a month and a half. Every time she tries to talk to him about it, he acts like he doesn’t see what she does, and she’s starting to think that maybe he doesn’t.

He raises an eyebrow at her as he shuts the lid on his computer. “I didn’t realize you wanted to have lazy morning sex.”

“I mean, I don’t, now that we’re already out of bed. It kind of defeats the _lazy_ part of it. I just don’t like that you do work all the time.”

“It isn’t all the time.” His tone is clipped, defensive, and this is usually when she lets it go.  
Not today.

“Things have been falling apart between us and you haven’t been able to see it.” 

The words, her deepest thoughts, are out in the open before she can even stop them.

Honestly, this didn’t start with work. It started last year, when Maz got sick. She’s okay now, but it had been a scary couple of months for Rey especially. Maz was the only family she’s ever known, and she was so, so afraid of losing her that she would cry herself to sleep.

One night, after visiting her in the hospital, Rey came home to see Ben standing at the stove, stirring pasta in boiling water.

_Tears sprung into her eyes as her purse slipped through her fingers, landing on the tile with a dull thud. Ben turned around to see her standing at the edge of the kitchen._

_“Rey? What’s wrong?” he had asked, setting the spatula on the counter and crossing the room to her. He gathered her in his arms, pulled her close and let her cry into his shoulder._

_“I don’t know,” she answered, twisting the fabric of his shirt in her hands. “I’m just so scared of losing her.”_

_He hadn’t needed a name to know who she was talking about; this had been the topic of many of their conversations over the past couple of months, and she could tell that he was running out of comforting things to say. He rubbed her back soothingly with one hand, stroked her hair with the other._

_“How was she today?”_

_She sniffled, wrapped her arms around him and pulled herself closer. “F-Fine. She seemed almost like her normal self, but I can see how much pain she’s in, Ben. I don’t – I don’t like seeing her like that. She’s so tired all the time, not the energetic mother that I grew up with.”_

_“I’m sorry,” he told her, setting his chin on her shoulder. “I wish there was something I could do.”_

_“Me, too.” Rey pulled away, although she wasn’t able to look at him when she spoke next. “Sometimes it gets to me, with this and work. It all feels like too much.”_

_He led her over to their kitchen table, pulled out a chair and sat her down before going over to the stove and stirring the pasta. “Rey, this is a really emotional thing that you’re going through right now. It’s okay to be vulnerable and upset about it.”_

_“I know. It’s hard but having you by my side really helps. I don’t know what I’d do without you and thank you for always being there.”_

_Ben smiles sadly at her. “Rey, of course I’ll always be there for you, I love you so much. I don’t want to be going through life with anyone else, because it wouldn’t be the same.”_

Confusion appears on his features as he takes in her words. “What do you mean?”

“I . . .” Rey squeezes her eyes shut and takes a deep breath, wishes that she wasn’t about to say this. “I don’t know if this is working anymore, Ben. Do we even want the same things out of life?”

He leans forward, propping his chin up on his hands. “I thought we did, but now I don’t know. Where is this all coming from?”

“I don’t want to live in Chicago anymore. We’ve lived here our whole lives, with the exception of college, and I just . . . As a journalist, I don’t think there are many opportunities for me anymore. I want to be a travel journalist, write about what I see and the people I meet. You know that I’ve been dreaming of travelling the world ever since I was a kid, and we haven’t even left Chicago since we came home from college.”

“So you want to travel?”

“Yes, but it’s more than that. I applied for a job for National Geographic, as a travel writer. I have an interview with them in DC next week, and I didn’t want to tell you because I know you’re happy with your job and I don’t want you to have to leave–”

“I wish you would’ve discussed this with me, it seems like you’ve already made up your mind.”  
Her eyebrows knit together. “I didn’t say that, I don’t even know if I got the job.”

“Were you even going to tell me?”

“Yes,” she replies defensively.

“When?”

“I’m telling you right now.”

“Yeah, the week before your interview! Do you even want to still be together?”

If she wasn’t already sitting down, the force of his words would make her. _Do you even still want to be together?_

Rey’s breath hitches and she swallows around the lump that’s formed in her throat as she blinks away tears. “Of course I do, how could you even think otherwise?”

“It just doesn’t seem like I fit into the equation of your life anymore, at least not with the way you’re talking about this job that you didn’t even tell me about.”

“Why are you making such a big deal about this?” she snaps. “It’s just a job interview, it’s not like I’m moving away!”

He shakes his head, staring at the tv in the corner of the room instead of her. “You might as well be. The point isn’t that you have the interview, it’s that you didn’t even bother to tell me about it.”

There have been a few times where she’s thought that they might break up, but she knows now that nothing has ever come close to this. She feels the thread that’s holding their relationship together unraveling, and she hadn’t even realized that it’s only holding on by a thread until this moment.

She doesn’t know if there’s a way to fix this. In the past, they’ve always felt like a team, going against anything that life has to throw at them, but right now, she thinks they’re playing for different teams.

“I did tell you, just now!”

“Not when you were considering it. Ever since Maz broke her hip last year, you’ve been distant.”

“What? What does _that_ have to do with anything?”

Ben looks as if he’s debating his next words. “I know that I’ve been distant lately, Rey. And I could see this coming, but I was trying to stop it.”

“No, you weren’t! We haven’t properly communicated in, I don’t even know how long. When was the last time we actually talked about something and didn’t resort to snapping at each other?”

He bites his lip. “I don’t know. Maybe . . . maybe we should take a break.”

She swallows hard and nods. Her heart breaks in two pieces as she says, “Yeah, maybe we should.”

It feels like hours later that he tells her he’s going to leave for the night, and it feels like days later when he returns from their room with a packed bag.

Throughout all of this, she can’t bring herself to move from the couch. Rey just sits there, thinking over what happened.

She’s tries to think about what it will be like to not have Ben in her life anymore, to not see him every day like she has since she was 15, and she can’t come up with anything.

He stands by the door for a moment. She’s not looking at him, but she hears him walk to the door, stop behind the couch.

Rey turns around, thinking that _maybe he’s changed his mind_ , however when she looks down, he’s tying his shoes.

“I’ll . . . see you later,” he says, his voice thick, as he picks up his bag.

She nods. “Okay, see you later.” _I love you._

It feels like he’s just gone to work, except she feels emptier. Like when he walked out that door, he took all of her love with him.

Only once the door has closed behind him does she start crying. The cries quickly turn to sobs, and she somehow makes her way down the hallway to their room.

That’s when she spots the locket on the ground, and she can hardly see it through her tears as she looks for it. She sinks to the floor then, reaches for the locket, and discovers that it broke in half after its fall from the nightstand.

This only makes her cry harder. 

Not only is the heart locket broken, but so is her heart.

She doesn’t get another interview for the National Geographic.

_It wasn’t worth it_ , she had texted Ben after she got the email, _losing you wasn’t worth this opportunity, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about it. I would give up a million interviews just to have you back._

He hasn’t replied, and she assumes that means they’re really, truly over.

The living room is coated in various shades of grey, morning sunlight is creeping in through the blinds as Rey sits on the couch.

It’s Wednesday, but she’s taken the day off of work. She needs a mental health day, since she hasn’t had time to process everything.

The front door creaks open, and she slowly turns around to see Ben walk through the doorway, his bag clutched in his hand.

“I saw your text,” he greets, and the sight of him makes her eyes fill with tears.

“Hi,” she breathes out, standing to go greet him. “You came back.”

He nods. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and I don’t want to be without you. I’m sorry that I was prioritizing work over our relationship.”

She hugs him cautiously, and once he drops his bag at their feet and wraps his arms around her, relaxes against him. “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about the job. I love you, Ben. Nothing is more important to me than you.”

Ben’s hand strokes her hair, combing through her strands. “I love you, too. And if it’s alright with you, I’d like to work on this, on us.”

Watery laughter falls from her lips, and he pulls back from the hug to wipe away tears from her face that she hadn’t even noticed. “Of course that’s okay, I want nothing more than that.”

They stand there for a long time, just hugging each other, until she finally lets go of him. He kisses her softly, sighing into her mouth as he picks her up.

“It’s past eleven, does that mean it’s too late for lazy morning sex?” he asks, grinning against her mouth.

“Not at all. There’s something you should know, though. The locket broke.”

He looks at her, still smiling as he shakes his head. “I can’t believe it held up for as long as it did.”

“What do you mean?”

“Rey, I got that when I was eighteen at Target over ten years ago. I’m literally amazed that you had it for this long. In fact . . .” He sets her on the ground, reaches down and unzips the front pocket of his bag, pulls out a rectangular teal box, tied with white ribbon.

She knows instantly where it’s from, and she quirks an eyebrow at him. “You went to _Tiffany’s_?”

He smiles at her, kisses her once before touching their foreheads together. “Open it, please.”

Nestled inside the box is a silver heart shaped pendant with a tiny diamond in the middle of it, on a silver chain. Rey gazes up at him, parting her lips in shock. “Is this . . .?”

“A locket? Yeah, I’ve been hiding it in this bag to give it to you.”

“Oh my God, Ben. I love you so much. Will you put it on me?”

She turns around once he nods and feels his feather-light touch on her neck as he moves her hair out of the way. It takes a second for him to get the necklace out of the box, and after he does, he brings it over her head and clasps it around her neck. Rey reaches up to touch the pendant as she turns back to look at him.

“What picture should I put in it?” she asks, threading her arms around his neck.

“I don’t know. Maybe update it with a different one that’s not from our high school graduation?”

She pecks his lips, hopping up into his arms as he deepens the kiss. “That sounds like a good idea.”

“You know what sounds like an even _better_ idea?”

“Morning sex,” they say in unison, wearing matching grins, and with that, he carries her down the hallway to their room.

Rey’s heart feels so full, she really can’t believe that he’s back in her arms again, and later, when he sinks down into her, gets into a slow rhythm as they move in time against each other, the heart locket dangles in-between them.

“I love you,” he whispers, kissing her neck. He sucks at the tender skin there then soothes it with his tongue. She doesn’t even care if she has to cover it up later, it’s all worth it. 

Every moment with Ben is worth it, and she’s never going to take their relationship for granted ever again, like she had in the past.

“I love you more,” she replies, flipping them over so that she can be on top, see his hair splayed out onto their pillow.

She sits up, still thrusting onto him, braces her hands on his chest as she increases speed. 

He makes eye contact with her, then at her _yes, please_ , palms one of her tits, takes the other one into his mouth. 

After almost fifteen years together, she’s found that the feel of his hands, his mouth, on her hasn’t gotten old, and it probably won’t. After almost fifteen years together, she’s found that she doesn’t want to be with anyone else, that she was lucky enough to meet her soulmate at fifteen.

There are definitely going to be ups and downs throughout life, but they can get through anything as long as they’re together.

Much later, Ben is asleep beside her, his arm tossed over her stomach as he snores lightly. Rey lies awake, rubbing her necklace in-between her fingers in the way that she would sometimes with her old one. 

It’s a symbol of their love for each other; they’ve grown as people, but their love for one another knows no bounds; that’s something she’s sure of, now, and it wasn’t something she even thought about the other day, she had completely forgotten to remind herself (and him) of it. 

They had so much thinking and communicating to do that they had forgotten where their love came from in the first place. In high school, they were friends before they were lovers, and Rey thinks that was super important to the foundation of their relationship, that is the reason why they are who and where they are today.

She looks over at her fiancé sleeping next to her and smiles, falls into a deep, dreamless sleep, which is so different from how she’d been sleeping the past few nights without him.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> If you'd like more break-up fics, I'm currently writing a multi-chapter, slow burn exes-to-lovers fic called Fallingwater, which you can read [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21687550/chapters/51726322)! Updates are every Thursday.
> 
> Comments and kudos are very much appreciated!


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